You know when you've been flying too long when...

Old pilot
  1. pull out of your driveway and start to drive with your car centered on the dashed line.
  2. spend so much time scanning for (airplane) traffic when driving that you forget there's a bus coming toward you.
  3. pull into the parking lot and start turning off the Radios, Electrical equipment, ... and where's the dang Mixture???
  4. use the emergency brake to drop the flaps.
  5. safety-wire the gas cap on your Pinto.
  6. roll down the window and shout "CLEAR!" before starting.
  7. brake through left turns and accelerate through right turns. 
  8. try to shove a dipstick down the fuel filler pipe.
  9. get really nervous about the skids around corners.
  10. drive home from work - you start sequencing cars for the approach at a four way stop sign.
  11. drive into a fog bank and immediately start to stare at the dashboard.
  12. start logging the odometer readings on your car.
  13. are lost in a strange city and you let go of the wheel and get out your sectional (without pulling over or stopping) 
  14. ...during a looooong drive on a curving highway in unfamiliar territory, you look for your DG/Compass.
  15. ...tell the cop that you are allowed to go up to 250 in the TCA. 
  16. get on the highway and hit "rotate speed" (50 mph for a Cessna 150). You pull back on the wheel and don't get airborne. You panic, abort the "takeoff" and hit the brakes. (Drives the guy in close trail with you crazy)!
  17. get out of your car and look for tiedown ropes.
  18. watch the local news, hoping the weather anchor will give you ceilings, visibilities and winds aloft.
  19. ...You reach for the microphone to talk to the people in the back seat.
  20. ...You attempt to steer your Buick with the brake and clutch. 
  21. ...You bark at your wife, "Takeoff Checklist!"
  22. ...You ride the clutch to counteract engine torque.


19 Dec 2018 - 11:19

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